I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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