he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
