I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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