There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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