I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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