mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral