It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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