Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.

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  (513): I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties. http://tfl.nu/yluk
  Replies (7) Good night (4022) Bad night (731)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring

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  (207): I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring http://tfl.nu/1cyo
  Replies (18) Good night (4640) Bad night (1188)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to

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  (720): What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to http://tfl.nu/xbm0
  Replies (33) Good night (1773) Bad night (4520)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.

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  (202): Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology. http://tfl.nu/sp8t
  Replies (32) Good night (10120) Bad night (1255)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"

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  (781): then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints" http://tfl.nu/ml68
  Replies (12) Good night (6522) Bad night (1099)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..

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  (978): He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet.. http://tfl.nu/dgrg
  Replies (16) Good night (1854) Bad night (4479)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."

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  (978): as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..." http://tfl.nu/w3wh
  Replies (17) Good night (6078) Bad night (1602)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  he just came in and straightened the chair and left again

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  (905): he just came in and straightened the chair and left again http://tfl.nu/sy2j
  Replies (4) Good night (2587) Bad night (920)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias

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  (318): When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias http://tfl.nu/7mik
  Replies (6) Good night (3756) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.

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  (714): I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later. http://tfl.nu/riev
  Replies (17) Good night (2047) Bad night (2450)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off

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  (360): The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off http://tfl.nu/wmpp
  Replies (4) Good night (631) Bad night (1794)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.

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  (412): Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently. http://tfl.nu/q1xe
  Replies (1) Good night (1069) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.

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  (413): Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like. http://tfl.nu/c9vg
  Replies (8) Good night (475) Bad night (1620)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.

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  (307): WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk. http://tfl.nu/ho36
  Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.

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  (336): My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public. http://tfl.nu/yo1q
  Replies (3) Good night (960) Bad night (351)

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