the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
