Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
