once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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