I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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