ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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