Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
