I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
