At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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