So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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