he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize