If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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