Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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