Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
