My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
