You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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