You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
