I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
