He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
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Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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