I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
