Barsexuality is the new black.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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