sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
