Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
