Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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