You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i believe in u and ur pee
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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