and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i dont even know how to be here
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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