when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
