and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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