Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
