Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
