i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
