I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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