She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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