There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
