just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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