tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize