Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
