I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
