My friends, they love my intelligence
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
