no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
