Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
