Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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