What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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