I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
