Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
