hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
