You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
