actually, I'm a sock model
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize