My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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