Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
