I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
