He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
